Warning: fopen(/home/.fuzznut/kingofamerica/entroporium.com/wordpress/wp-content/backup/.htaccess) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/kingofamerica/entroporium.com/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/backupwordpress/functions.php on line 377
Cannot open file (/home/.fuzznut/kingofamerica/entroporium.com/wordpress/wp-content/backup/.htaccess)
Warning: fwrite(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/kingofamerica/entroporium.com/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/backupwordpress/functions.php on line 381
Cannot write to file (/home/.fuzznut/kingofamerica/entroporium.com/wordpress/wp-content/backup/.htaccess)
Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/kingofamerica/entroporium.com/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/backupwordpress/functions.php on line 385
Essays « The Entroporium
Image 01

Archive for the ‘Essays’ Category

Duck Rock: Malcolm McLaren’s other big thing

Friday, April 9th, 2010

While most of the obituaries for Malcolm McLaren will rightfully center on his time as manager of The Sex Pistols, this was just the first of his successes in revolutionary pop music.  Upon its release in 1983, Duck Rock‘s distillation of Soweto, South Bronx and proto-electronica sounded like nothing on earth and everything on it at the same time.  Nowadays it sounds almost ridiculously dated.  The primitive turntablism sounds like something your 4-year old could do when you hand him your iPhone to distract him for a while.  The raps are impossibly old skool, practically “moon” and “june” rhyming.  Even the selection of African sources seems downright quaint as the recent crate-digging revolution led by Soundway and others continues to dig up impossibly modern-sounding treasures from the 70s.

To truly appreciate how insanely alien Duck Rock felt at the time, you need to place your ears in its historical context.

The idea of creating cut-up music and rhythms from records and charismatically, charmingly rhyme-chanting over them was still very new.  Rap and hip-hop were still barely more than rumors to most of the country.  Even as a teenager in relatively open & urban Berkeley, the hip-hop hits that bled out into our mainstream were more like novelty acts.  Grandmaster Flash was on auto-repeat in the school cafeteria, while Tom Tom Club and Blondie had fluke hits that played on hip-hop styles without actually committing to them.  But that was about it.  The great Def Jam/Run-DMC/Beastie Boys explosion of 1984 was still yet to come.

I would never go so far as to say Malcolm McLaren discovered African music, but for the 80s generation Duck Rock represented its introduction into their consciousness.  South Africa and apartheid were only just entering mainstream conversation in America.  None of the great boycotts had started.  Nelson Mandela was still in jail – and wasn’t he some kind of terrorist or something?  All we knew about him we learned about from The Special AKA.  Stevie Ray Vaughn and friends had not yet declaimed “I ain’t gonna play Sun City!”  Most critically to the success of Duck Rock, African music simply hadn’t made it over yet.  After the political convulsions of the late 1970s, Africa’s music industry was essentially gone.  Graceland wasn’t even a gleam in Paul Simon’s eye.  The Indestructible Beat Of Soweto was not on anyone’s radar, except perhaps Robert Christgau’s.

Finally, Duck Rock believe it or not is a critical early entry into the creation of the synth-y pop sound that dominated pop in the 80s and is a focus of today’s 80s revivalism.  Producer Trevor Horn was fresh off the successes of a couple of the best sounding and most influential post-punk synth-pop productions, ABC’s The Lexicon Of Love and Into Battle With The Art Of Noise, and yet to move on to the monolithic and silly manifesto-ism of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Welcome To The Pleasuredome.  It’s difficult to give the sense now of how new and modern Horn’s production style felt in the early 80s, especially coming out of a long period starting with punk where amateurism was so key to the aesthetic.  Crucially, the Horn style sounded great on Walkman headphones in the early days of personal stereos when little else did.  And whether on purpose or not, Duck Rock brought together several burgeoning genres – African, electronica, sampling and hip-hop – that sounded great on cheap portable headphones, even better when moving in virtual isolation through an urban environment – still a novelty in those days.

I think it also bears noting that there was – and should be – considerable controversy over the provenance of the songs. Connecting the dots between township jive and US inner city radio seemed pretty clever at the time and still gives a nice message that we’re all connected, baby.  But there’s also real reason to be uncomfortable with that message, especially in light of the songwriting credits that give all the rights to “Horn/McLaren.”  One listen and you’ll see strong reason to doubt that they really had much to do with songwriting.  While it’s true in the early days of sampling that credits were a bit less… stringent, the co-opting of others’ artistry – in particular from distressed urban areas around the world – reeks of the worst of cultural imperialism.   This is another crucial way that Duck Rock is a product of its time even as it stretched out ears into the future.

(Come to think of it, Malcolm had done something similar with another music project six years earlier.)

Fela and the fourth wall challenge

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Musical? Concert?

Last Sunday I had the privilege of attending a matinee of Fela! at the Eugene O’Neill Theater in New York.  I can’t recommend the show enough.  Telling Fela Kuti’s life story through a simulated night at his club/compound, The Shrine, the Broadway production isn’t just one of the best shows I’ve ever seen but also one of the best concert experiences.  If you have even a shred of interest in the man, his music or good ol’ fashioned spectacle, you must see this.  Don’t be that guy in “He Miss Road.”

The performers and set spill into every corner of the theater and virtually – no, in actuality – beg for audience engagement and participation throughout.  There is even a moment in the first act in which Fela invites the crowd to storm the stage.  This moment passes quickly and is done so subtly that I think most people, including the theater-savvy group with whom I attended the show, can easily miss it.  It’s clearly a charged moment for the performers, though, as they need to wait a moment to see if the audience will respond – but also be able to play through seamlessly to keep potential awkwardness to a minimum.  The musicians keeps riffing and if nobody moves the show goes on.

At the intermission, I asked one of the ushers if the weekend night crowds respond differently.  Oh yeah, some of the audiences are there to paaarty.  My Sunday afternoon brethren were a quieter bunch for sure.  What a performing challenge for the actors & dancers in a tightly choreographed show to have such an unpredictable element built into the show!

Another way that Fela! tries to break through the traditional Broadway audience dynamic is through an insert in the program inviting audience members to drink throughout the show.  The bar in the rear stays open and you are explicitly told its OK to have beverages at your seat.  In the spirit of the show – and, well, because I can’t imagine going to a rock concert without a tasty adult beverage – I made my way to the back bar towards the end of Act I.  Not only was I the only one in the theater to do so but the bartender seemed totally baffled by my presence, ignoring me even though I was her sole customer.

I don’t blame the audience for being confused.  The marketing on the web and around town still follows the formula of most Broadway musicals; it won this many Tonys, blah blah blah.  It makes me wonder how the show has decided to target its potential customers.  Would it be better getting the startled tourists and traditional theatergoers who have been taught to sit there and passively enjoy the show; or make outreach to younger audiences – or even traditionally more participatory groups like those found in gospel churches.  (Perhaps I’m so far away from this target that I can’t see the campaign?) As John Lennon legendarily said when he performed for royalty, “Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.”

So two lessons to take away.  First, no matter how much a show gives permission, it takes a lot to get an audience out of generations of ingrained viewing habits.  It’s hard to imagine a show with more energy, intelligence and pure uplift than Fela! – and still the crowd stayed seated until the curtain call.  (Me and my friend hooted for an encore, which only seemed to confuse our section-mates.  Isn’t that what you do after the set ends?)  Second, if you’re going to see Fela!, try for a weekend night!

  • Discount tickets for Fela!
  • “By the end of this transporting production, you feel you have been dancing with the stars.  And I mean astral bodies, not dime-a-dozen celebrities.” – New York Times
The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Fela! – Zombie
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

“Just change, baby!” – Passages in the barber chair

Monday, January 4th, 2010

Flickr : doggylama

The words every man dreads hearing: “You’re getting a little thin up there.”  And with that – no fanfare, no drama, no time for a neurotic outbreak – my barber Daniel snipped off the strands of my faux combover.  ”It’s 2010,” he went on.  ”Time for a fresh start.”

It was true.   One always wonders about the guy who has that one strand of hair carefully arranged over an obviously bald head.  How does he do that?  How does he face his loved ones when he gets wet?  Isn’t he worried it might be windy today?  For the last year, I was well down the road to becoming one of those guys.

What I learned over the last few years is that nobody plans for a combover.  They’re insidious.  They are the product of years of attrition, denial, compensation and the simple refusal to adapt to new ways of brushing your hair.

There’s something comforting about the No BS treatment at traditional men’s barber shops, a fading breed, run for the most part by old guys who have been doing nothing but giving no-BS quick & dirty haircuts for eons.  San Francisco has a couple of fancy locations – Mister and The Barber Lounge – which say they are barber shops but are in reality more like ultra-masculine salons.  More memorable, though, is Original Palace Barber Shop at 2nd and Mission.  Basically a bunch of chairs pushed together in a mound of the eccentric absentee owner’s garbage (must be seen to be believed), Original Palace is staffed by a crew of several 50+ men, all foreign with indeterminate nationalities, and one terribly unlucky woman. Never a wait and never out of there in more than 20 minutes.

SF Chronicle: Carlos Avila Gonzalez

My local barber shop is the simply-named Montclair Barber Shop.  Its proprietor, Rocky Becker, a near-silent character I see all the time on Mountain Boulevard smoking and sucking down coffee, was recently profiled in the San Francisco Chronicle.   To be in Rocky’s chair is to be transported somewhere into the early 1970s.  He’s got his Raiders calendar, a few shots of his Harley – and that’s all you get to see because after 5 minutes you are done, $20 and a pile of hair lighter. Not the greatest haircut, but that’s not what you were there for – nothing some pomade and an encore in four weeks can’t fix.

The Chronicle was principally interested in the shop because of its longtime relationship with Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, who’s been getting his hair cut by Rocky for 49 years.  The Raiders of the 70s were known for their hard partying, rebellious personae and straight-up intimidation of their opponents.  ”Just win, baby” was their mantra. And of course they were one of the most successful franchises, a regular visitor to the playoffs and winner of three Super Bowls.  Al Davis is one of the founders of the modern NFL, one of the world’s great business growth stories, and a member of its Hall Of Fame.

Al Davis in the 60s, current hairstyle

Davis may not be loved, but the media and Raider Nation remains entranced by the Davis mystique.  They are fascinated by Davis for never changing, a throwback – and for almost 40 years one of the cleverest, most influential men in football.  They also lay his lack of success in the last decade – the Raiders now officially own the worst 7-year run in NFL history – for never changing.  ”He still likes to maintain his look,” Becker told the Chronicle. “You’ve got to maintain what you have. Al’s a big believer in that.”

Change is hard work.   Sometimes it needs to be tough love, other times it’s letting someone or something just go to town on you.  You gotta cut off those old strands flying in the wind and move on.

Hurrah for traditional barber shops!  Thank you for letting me stay the same as long as I could and then making me change when it was the right thing to do.  Long may you wave.

Rethinking The Newspaper: It Can Be done

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

newspapersA recent Clay Shirky post, “Newspapers and Thinking the Unthinkable,” says that the newspaper as a business model is dead, killed by its reliance on industrial printing technology. The future, he tells us, will be based on experiments in journalistic form and not any particular form of media, new or old. Meanwhile, as I talked about in an earlier post, magazines are withering away from pressure on CPMs and reduced interest in advertisers.

My bet or, as last as things move these days, this months bet is that well start to see a merging of the forms.

As Malcolm Gladwell writes in this weeks New Yorker, the biggest handicap that underdogs give themselves is engaging in competition on the terms of the stronger party. An underdogs chance of victory nearly triples if it finds a way to not play the game. Right now newspapers whether they admit it or not find themselves the underdog for information distribution but still (so far) the best at obtaining information. So why do they insist on sharing the same distribution models as their potential destroyers?

The New York Times' new reader uses AIR capabilities to flow text and show video. (Credit: Rafe Needleman / CNET)

The New York Times' new reader uses AIR capabilities to flow text and show video. (Credit: Rafe Needleman / CNET)

The New York Times is one of the best at this. To my knowledge, it was the first with a dedicated iPhone application, it looks great on a Kindle, and its new Adobe AIR format is simply spectacular. Still, as everyone knows, the Times is hurting and in talks with everyone from Google to Geffen to find a suitor.

So instead of wringing our hands about public trusts and eroding institutions, perhaps we should be asking of our Third Estate What can you do to adapt? Something basic to your business model that doesnt play to the other guys strength? Here are a few Ive thought about:

  • Does it really need to be daily? If people are already receiving a stream of real-time news everywhere they go and at their desks, do newspapers need to be real-time, too? Local alternatives with a more magazine-like format and deeper stories like the Bay Guardian and SF Weekly are well positioned to take over many of the essential local functions of a newspaper and with lower circulation, their ad rates are less prohibitive, meaning they get the bar, restaurant and nightlife ads that are essentially blocked from big dailies. Reliance on major retailers to be your biggest advertisers is a recipe for death in an era where retail doors will close continuously, like, forever. (But what about the recent SF/LA closure of The Onion? Ill address that in a minute.)
  • Does the news need to lead? Every news site has a Most Frequently Viewed or Most Frequently E-Mailed feature. Lets face it. Its very rare that the top stories, even on the most serious sites, are todays news. (Or as SFist notes about the Huffington Post today: Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. Boob.) I would hate to see our locals ignore the news, but why couldnt it be treated like a magazine cover with offers of advice, news coverage, quizzes Things that reel the reader in.

    Here are todays SF Chronicle leads:
    * A stricter, drier Bay to Breakers
    * Craigslist cuts ‘erotic services’ section
    * If state cuts too deep, it loses stimulus funds
    * Senate testimony sheds light on alleged torture
    * Young boost diversity as population ages

    Seriously, not a single one of these lines would sell a magazine at the checkstand. No editorial viewpoint expressed, no help offered simply no answer toWhy buy? Why not feature elements from throughout the paper? “Take your medicine, its good for you” doesnt work for marketers in any other industry, including medicine. Why is it the norm here?

  • Does it need to be shaped like a newspaper? Why not a glossy cover? Billions of magazines have done just fine that way. In particular, Im a fan of The Atlantic and The New Yorkers newsstand strategy: a single compelling image with a flap violator that entices the reader to pick up the magazine and look inside.
  • Can it be targeted better than Its local, its yours? In printing All The News That Fits, newspapers lose the single biggest weapon a marketer has: the freedom to select an audience. Its wonderful that the Chronicle expresses the regions diversity and interests, but I think its fair to say that the news interests of, for example, a 70-year old woman in the Sunset and a 25-year old man in The Mission are very different. So how come the same information in the same format is being sold to both? Using copy splits, could different front pages go to different neighborhoods and not just regional sections to outlying areas?
    Its also worth noting that this could open up new revenue streams. In my opinion, one of the seeds of the demise of The Onion in SF/LA is that it didnt take the thinly-veiled prostitution ads that are easy money for the Bay Guardian and SF Weekly. With CraigsList now discontinuing those same ads, thats a lot of advertising cash set free. Where will it go? Well, if you had a well-targeted newspaper that didnt need to worry about offending its audience with certain content/ads, you just might be able to scoop it up. So, yes, Im imagining a world where Candy TS Outcalls replaces Macys.)
  • Further, why is it serving so much of the area? In an era when advertisers pay more for the specificity of an audience, why is the San Francisco Chronicle the leading paper of Contra Costa County? And Oakland? And most of remote Northern California? Surely some of these readers are more profitable than others. And those that arent can get their news somewhere else.
  • Does every copy need to have the same content? When I received the Sunday paper, the first thing I did every week was throw away 50% or more of it. Why not allow a la carte sections?
  • Is it automatic for its customers – and especially its best ones? Mark Cuban – who got me thinking about this originally and reels off another thousand or so ideas in his blog post on the subject – points out that his local paper was blowing one of the very basic elements of keeping him engaged: pricing policies. Aside from receiving no volume discount, Cuban says that the billing policies discourage people from staying involved. Why arent subscriptions annual or far more? In the core areas, closest to the printer and the most attractive identified customers, especially those that own their home and are less likely to move, why not offer 5 years, 10 years, even a lifetime subscription?
  • Finally, what unique advantages can newspapers bring to ‘real-time’ media? Yes, there’s still an opportunity for symmetric warfare for newspapers. My old colleague Sebastian Provencher at Praized Media recently blogged on just this with regard to the Yellow Pages, but it applies equally well to local paopers. His 2300-word post on real-time information flow between local merchants and customers should be required reading for local media outlets that seeks to make its revenue from being an intermediary in these relationships. You should have a look, but I can boil it down to one tantalizing word: souq.

Im curious for your thoughts on this since I know my few readers are newspaper lovers, too. Dont forget to comment!

The 15 Albums Meme

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

In celebration of my birthday today, I’m republishing this article that I previously posted on Facebook about six weeks ago. Birthdays are always a good time for summing up, thinking about the past and how it got you where you think you may be going – and as my friends know strong opinions about music have always been part of my personal journey. As a special bonus, where possible I’ve put links to the albums for download (none of these posted by me nor housed on my site; caveat emptor):

Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically, shaped your world. When you finish, tag 15 others, including me. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill. Get the idea now? Good. Tag, you’re it!

GE Partymate, very similar to my first record player c. 1970When I sat down to write this, I thought in terms of the albums that helped me learn how to listen, to form a critical opinion, or opened new worlds avenues & possibilities and so forth. By its nature, then, these 15 albums may not necessarily represent desert island discs, favorite artists, or even the best of a particular artist. In a couple of cases, I dont even particularly enjoy the album any more though I can still catch the whiff of thrill I felt when I first heard it.

I started with about 50 albums and ruthlessly edited until only 15 remained. Most of the late scratches were albums where I felt that the one that made the final list already epitomized something in common between those albums; examples include Power Lies and Corruption edging out Seventeen Seconds and Remain In Light. (I didnt say it made sense, I just said it was.)

And so, in rough chronological order

THE ROLLING STONES, Their Satanic Majesties Request – Its absurd and in points unlistenable, but to a 4-year old with a close-n-play its mysterious and full of whimsy, from the playful idolatrous cover art to the nonsense psychedelia of the songs. I would listen closely, scrutinizing every note cough mumble; it seemed so important to decode it. Though just a curiosity today, it has some of the Stones loveliest pop songs before they went on to become the raw, bluesy world-beating band they were over the next 10 years.
PS The remaster sounds amazing.

THE WHO, Tommy Its full of filler and the story is absurd, grotesque and more than a little offensive. For me, though, it unlocked the idea that rock could tell a story and that the different instruments could be expressive of character and ideas. On that basis, it beat the hell out of the Young Peoples Guide To The Orchestra or Peter & The Wolf. And the playing still knocks me out. Ill put Underture up against anything as one of the great instrumental performances.

THE BEATLES, The White Album (for this is what it should be called) This list would not be complete without any Beatles, a band that I devoured well into my teens. I dont think is their best nor is it my favorite it contains the very worst efforts by all four of them – but its very density makes it the one that I still find the most fascinating a real songwriters battle royale. Oddly, I think my two favorite Beatles albums today may actually be solo albums: Ram and All Things Must Pass. (Bing! Snooty rock critic alert!)

PUBLIC IMAGE, LTD, Metal Box / Second Edition How did we get there from here? Coming in a bit late for punk, this was my one of my first pick-ups of the genre. But really it couldnt be further from punk; the trebly in-your-face pop-based guitars replaced by a dominant dubby danceable beats. It was scary and invigorating to hear something so released from pop form but still essentially fun to listen to. Im sure this set me up for both techno and reggae as I discovered them later.

BRIAN ENO, Ambient 1: Music For Airports I bought this off the in-store turntable at Leopolds. (What strange self-absorbed 12-year old does that? [raises hand] That would be me.) But this album was freeing in so many ways. Free from composition & structure. Free from noise. Free from pop and conventional song structure. Yet it was peaceful and engaging. Plus it came with instructions for setting up your speakers properly.

(more…)

Magazines Giving Up; Tabloids To Come?

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

As an old print hand, the collapse of the magazine business model has been a sad thing to observe and play a small part in. The typical big US title think something youd pick up at the airport or (tellingly) from a waiting area has staked its business for decades on printing & distributing tens of thousands of unprofitable copies with the assurance that an attractive audience would be worth CPMs of $30 and up to advertisers. The very largest titles could afford lower CPMs approaching television so long as there was enough demand for copies.

portfolio_As anyone who follows media knows by now, magazines have been hit with a triple-witching the last few years: collapsing CPMs for even the most difficult-to-target audiences (in light of the targeting capabilities of the Internet) and plus collapsing advertising page sales; slackening demand; and rising distribution costs.

The big bellwether is now upon us. Conde Nast, really the last of the big-spending believers in magazine, first quietly packed off Domino and a few other titles and, more dramatically, this week closed Portfolio, for which the company had reportedly spent over $100mm to launch. (Portfolio was a poorly-timed entry – a well-written glamor magazine about business caught up in, well, now. But it was also schizophrenic. Despite being targeted at business elite, it was also weirdly basic; a column in the first issue, for example, explained how interest rates work[?!?!].)

While most attention has been paid to falling ad pages, its really the CPM problem that most fundamentally egs the question of whether the magazine industry will get anywhere close to its old business model ever again. Publishers formerly charged $30-100 to reach a hard-to-reach passionate target say, ukulele players while now that CPM on AdWords is not just catastrophically lower but also available by auction. In other words, not just the price is better; its the buying process, too, with better information creating a more efficient market.

So what for magazines to do? The most obvious choice is simply to start charging readers, which is what many of the newsweeklies are now trying to do. Any subscriber to Wired can see that they are getting their magazines at a steep unprofitable discount. ($12 for 12 issues written, designed, printed and mailed? Probably more like $30. Printing and postage alone is probably well more than $1.25 per copy. Ive long said that Conde Nast magazines are one of the great bargains of American life, like home plumbing and the US mail.)

But the reality is that its going to be a very hard road to convince readers to pay after being trained into receiving content for free (the Internet) or near-free (magazines) for their entire lives, no matter how great the reporting or photography. In the face of low demand, well see massive changes in how these magazines work in the next few years maybe months.

Another possible answer could come from the manufacturing side. The biggest challenge with magazine business models as they stand stems from their battleship-turning nature. It takes a long time to build circulation to get to a saleable advertising proposition; it takes an equally long time to deflate that unprofitable circulation when the ads dry up. (This is why you’ll see big circ magazines like George suddenly disappear.)

HP recently debuted a service called MagCloud that could potentially democratize the industry by allowing easy creation of micro-targeted magazines for example, not just for the ukulele player but for left-handed ukulele players living in the Midwest. A more nimble manufacturing process could allow more short-term plays; imagine for example 100 Days magazine to follow the excitement around the new President, killing it just as readers start to tire of it. Magazines may survive in fact by forgetting about brand-building and going after hot content. In short, a return to the tabloid times of our Founding Fathers. More on this in a coming post.

Sports franchises need to take a cue from airlines and Apple

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Joba Chamberlain opens the second game ever at the new Yankee Stadium and empty seats outnumber full ones in the exclusive areas behind home plate and the dugouts. The Stadium was packed otherwise.  (Flickr / Fansherpa)

Joba Chamberlain opens the second game ever at the new Yankee Stadium and empty seats outnumber full ones in the exclusive areas behind home plate and the dugouts. The Stadium was packed otherwise. (Flickr / Fansherpa)

With all the fuss over the empty luxury seats at the new Yankee Stadium, I was mildly surprised to find something similar – dramatically so – happening in my own backyard. We went to Sunday’s A’s-Rays game at the Oakland Coliseum. All the ingredients for a great day at the ballyard were in place: sunny April weather, last year’s AL champions in town and a Sunday afternoon. What we found instead was a micro-market in disarray. As the credit markets teetered last October, the market for sports tickets anecdotally seems to be following.

The first indication there was a problem was the total lack of online ticketing activity. There were practically no offers on CraigsList, even from brokers, and none at all on eBay. At the walk-up ticket booth, we found that we could buy any section in the house, including the Diamond Level. This should simply never be the case. The Diamond Level is a very limited “VIP” area, maybe 60 seats tops, right behind the plate on the playing field level. Seats go for $225 but also include free food and drink service for the whole game.

Weirdest of all was the scene inside the stadium. The A’s bifurcate each of the two seating levels – a minimum of two pricing levels in each deck. In both decks, there was a cluster of people behind the plate, practically nobody for several sections as the seating moved towards the outfield, another cluster in the sections starting the new pricing tier, again fading to nothing.

The mystery to me is why shouldn’t the people forced out to the outfield be able to sit in these empty “mezzo-sections.” The answer could come from a nimble dynamic pricing system at game time. As airlines like Virgin and JetBlue have discovered with exit rows sold at check-in, why not enable ask fans as they arriveto purchase a better seat for an extra few dollars? It would be an easy thing to equip ushers with Palm-style barcode and credit card machines like those carried by the clerks at The Apple Store. Everybody gets the opportunity to move closer (or elect not to), getting rid of the weird empty spaces and (I’m assuming) presenting a better, more invigorating environment for the home team. (I know they’re supposed to ignore the crowd, but ask any actor or musician if they’d rather play to a full orchestra than have the front rows empty and the crowd loosely dispersed.)

Meanwhile across the bay, the Giants are trying out a number of dynamic pricing policies. First, the team partnered up with a firm to build elastic pricing around its unsold inventory for the least attractive games. Last week, though, came the real reckoning – and a big indication that the team is running scared about its attendance. Ticket prices were dropped 40% for the Giants series this week against the Dodgers, traditionally the most attractive opponent. Granted the team is trying to stir up interest for later in the year – it appears they’ll be competitive in a moderately challenging division – but to have to do this so early and against the team’s best natural rivarly is surprising. One wonders how scared the Giants are about advance sales for the rest of the year.

Susie is quick to point out that the lack of an Oakland A’s ticket market framed by the fact that the Oakland Coliseum is a horrible dump, getting dumpier every day. The tarps in the third deck look weathered and horrible, while the bathrooms, parking lot and facilities remain some of the worst for a major league sport. Nevertheless the empty seat patterns – along with all the unsold display ad inventory throughout the stadium – are clear indications that baseball is not recession-proof. There are easy ways to make profit from making markets more efficient; marketing and pricing are the classics. Let’s see if the A’s and their brethren take up the challenge.

Tires, onions and panic

Sunday, February 10th, 2008

We got a little surprise Tuesday night when we let Ruby out back to do her evening business. For those of who have never been lucky enough to feel the full fury of fresh skunk, let me give you some quick wisdom.

Skunk DogFresh skunk does not smell anything like the mildly unpleasant musk you occasionally pick up driving down the street. It is insanely intense. Imagine eating a large moist purple onion while standing next to a pile of burning tires and you’re about halfway there.

The tire smell is especially tricky; it seems more like an artificial chemical solvent than anything borne of nature. Because of the solvent reek, in our tizzy we made a bad mental leap: “it’s not skunk, she’s been maced by someone trying to break into the house!” Which led us to our a series of mistakes…

  1. Do not bring the dog in the house
  2. Do not pour water over the dog
  3. Do not call the vet in a panic — they’ll tell you to come in because you sound panicked
  4. Do not put the nearest set of clothes to go to the vet; these will now be trash
  5. Do not put the dog in the car

The vet shooed us away as fast as they could and gave us the magic combination to get the stink off the dog (hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, Dawn). But by then the damage was done and the dog was the only thing left on the property that didn’t reek.

When we picked up the elements of the dog-cleaning kit from Safeway, the checkout clerk took one look at our haul and asked us if we had a dog that got hit by a skunk. How’d she know that? Attacks are so common in Oakland this time of year that the recipe was posted in the break room. They left that bit out of the disclosures when we moved over here.

Roll On You Bears?

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

Today presents a challenge to my core identity. I’ve been attending Cal games since I was a wee cub of six. That’s thirty-three years (cough) of futility. Not totally futility, mind you — there have been a few bowl games and good years — but thirty-three years without playing in the Rose Bowl or BCS game, winning the conference, or generally having a reason to look forward to New Years Day.

This is not a matter of simple alma mater loyalty; this is something I’ve done my whole life. Everything I learned about humility I learned from Cal football.

It wasn’t just me; it was the whole fan base. The oft-proferred line about Cal — at least when things were going poorly — was that its alumni would rather be proud (and beat Stanford) than become a so-called major program.

But this year looks different. Very different. Not only is Cal ranked in the Top Ten to start the season and opening its season at a bona fide "football school" (Tennessee), but ESPN analyst Lee Corso predicted Cal to win the national championship! This, dear readers, is crazy stuff. Cal hasn’t even got to the Rose Bowl since 1959, many years before my parents were thinking that sex was something they could do.

A national championship simply does not compute. It does not map to my self-image, to root for a team that can and will win. It used to be that I went to Memorial Stadium each week wondering how we’d find a way to lose. Now I have the neurosis of the winner — "Which game is the one where we slip and fall?" Instead of worrying about whether we’ll beat Stanford, my attention turns instead to "How much do we need to beat Portland State by to keep the East Coast writers from doubting the Bears? If we don’t win by 35 points, will it hurt our standing in the computer rankings?" I’m not certain that this is an improvement, fandom-wise.

There are cultural issues to think of, too. I’ve been very happy with the ramshackle stadium and the relatively low-key games. (Note the picture above; that’s the highly successful 1975 team upsetting USC at home. The stands in the background are pretty much empty.) I don’t want to be Texas with the world’s largest HDTV or the Florida teams with their absurd fan rivalries. Or, god forbid, USC with its traveling squad of weirdly mindless fans led by 5,000 band members playing one song over and over. (Cal fans have found ways to get back at idiot Trojans over the years.)

But unfortunately this is what it takes to be a top program in today’s major collegiate athletics. Today we stare into the abyss, sing our fight songs and hope we don’t lose our selfhood along the way.

UPDATE: So much for that.  Jake Curtis at SFGate still thinks Cal has room for hope.  One friend said that we had to break our "culture of losing" and then in the same breath said that we didn’t really want the national championship, just the Rose Bowl.  Sounds like a contradiction to me, but I guess that’s we’ll have to do to break up this culture one step at a time.

In Praise Of The Roads Not Taken

Friday, September 1st, 2006

On a week when my home state has signed into law one of the world’s most sweeping environmental policies, it’s fitting to take a brief look at one of San Francisco’s other major contributions to the greening of America. This one, though, took place over 50 years ago.

In the early 1950s, the California Division of Highways was loving its job. Combined with President Eisenhower’s push for the Federal Interstate system — partly for commerce and partly for Cold War homeland security — the nation’s freeway planners were give virtual free reign to plan whatever they wanted. Treating the nation’s communities as if they were networks of Fisher-Price toys scattered on their bedroom floor, the planners looked at every possible throughway and connection point as a place to run a freeway.

By 1959, San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors, Mayor Alioto and several neighborhood groups had turned back many of the most megalomaniacal plans, including turning Van Ness into an elevated freeway, running expressways along either side of Golden Gate Park, and wrapping a road through Fishermen’s Wharf to connect the Bay Bridge & Golden Gate Bridge. Nevertheless, it was too late to stop the Embarcadero Freeway, but the 1989 earthquake took care of that road at least.

SF vets like myself will attest that the City was indeed easier to get around with the Embarcadero Freeway and the on-ramp at Golden Gate & Gough, but I’m sure we’d all say also agree that what’s been gained by their removal — the return of the Embarcadero Promenade and Hayes Valley, respectively — is a trade we’d make any day. Almost as if The Wizard Of Oz himself ordained it, those areas went from depressing and grey to lively and technicolor within months of the removal of the oppressive elevated throughways.

Perhaps California’s new emissions law will all turn out to be ineffectual in the end. As the Chronicle points out today, if California is able to achieve the targets in this week’s legislation, the world’s carbon emissions will be reduced by only .5%. (California, the world’s 12th largest economy, makes 2% of Earth’s emissions; the state seeks to reduce by 25%.) The Law of Unintended Consequences always lurks; the dismantling of CDH’s original SF freeway plan may have done more to encourage urban sprawl in the Bay Area than to end it, thereby driving up California’s fuel usage and air pollution levels.

But try to imagine San Francisco today with all those freeways. It would not be worth living in or visiting. It would not be a great city.

So today I’m damn proud of my state for taking on a leadership role in the fight against Global Warming. And (dare I say it) I’m thrilled for the bravery of my term-limited Legislature and Governor to push through Green laws that could help make the world a better, healthier place, even though it could hurt the State’s economic growth in the short-term.

San Francisco CITYSCAPE – Freeway Revolt Map
BikeSummer – The Freeway Revolt

 

Bad Behavior has blocked 947 access attempts in the last 7 days.